c'est la vie

Untitled

We float -- float with me --
so tenuously on the warm skin of the water,
threading through the swells of the ocean.
Looking up into the breathless sky,
forgetting for a moment this burden of being light,
wasn't it you that I saw instead?
You, the depthlessness of blue.

Who knew, who knew
Who knew that between the beats of my heart
you would carve this other space,
this other home,
a glassy margin in the breaking surf...
It's not difficult to say goodbye.
To avoid that one last lingering draught of each other's eyes.

But to keep from trying
Trying to drag the memory of your face out of oblivion,
to keep from searching for a way to return home...
Who knew, who knew.

Aug. 2, 2007.

tell me

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness

Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And pulverize and derange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to sing along
Until the very ending

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

oh simple thing

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

back right

we've been on the run
driving in the sun
looking out for number one
california here we come
right back where we started from

well, hustlers, grab your guns
your shadow weighs a ton
driving down the 101
california here we come
right back where we started from

california...california...here we come

on the stereo
listen as we go
nothing's gonna stop me now
california here we come
right back where we started from

pedal to the floor
thinkin' of you more
gotta get us to the show
california here we come
right back where we started from

california...california...here we come

home

time to go back to school! and it's not leaving home that makes me afraid. i also get this feeling on leaving school at the end of the year, or LA, or hong kong ... i got it on leaving DC. and after all, home is certainly not the place. i will come back here over and over again. it's leaving that makes me afraid. it's passing. things passing. people passing. time passing. and i've always been afraid. the day i turned nine i cried as we sat around the cake. i cried because turning nine meant that i had only one more year before i could never -- NEVER -- be a single-digit age again. oftentimes i tell that story laughingly. but it's a marker of fear ... the first time i realized this longing for the present and past that i always have. this is something that is supposed to set in as you get old ... and i had it as a child.

food for thought

so one of the produce stands in chinatown that i go to (they sell the best papayas...) is apparently a haven for miniature vegetables. they had miniature mangos smaller than my palm, minature bittermelon, miniature 節瓜 ... the only other place i've ever seen that specialized, if you may, in miniature vegetables was a pavilions supermarket in LA, so i'm pretty impressed at this chinatown stand cum specialty foods nook. and as for food, i went to this place called shanghai bistro on friday & rather liked it. apparently i know the owner too...the mom of one of my former punahou and kilohana (my preschool! good gosh!) classmates. they have really fantastic 小龍包 ... and we met chef chang, who kept running out to give me cool treats, like his new green tea custard filled pikachus, and his yet-to-debut mini manapua. they were so absolutely adorable.

i'm on my last strawberry pie of the summer...i made three last weekend, gave one to harry&millie (our elderly neighbors across the street) and now there's one left. sigh. i really can't complain about harvard dining hall food, but sigh. :) i learned to make creme fraiche today too...three cups cream and two tablespoons buttermilk shaken, then set cool overnight, and refrigerated. creme fraiche is awesome because it'll never curdle when you whip it up or boil it in a recipe. and as you can guess from all the fat, it's delish.

whoa...

...i just felt my first earthquake. 8:15pm. it was a huge shake about a half a second long. we thought something crashed into our house. within 30 seconds our whole neighborhood was gabbing outside in the street. everyone also thought something crashed into their houses. it was pretty cool.